The Beauty of God's Grace

These are the lyrics to Mercy Me's song "Beautiful":


The days will come when you don't have the strength
When all you hear is you're not worth anything
Wondering if you could ever be loved
And if they truly saw your heart they'd see too much

You're beautiful
You're beautiful
You are made so much more than all of this
You're beautiful
You're beautiful
You are treasured, You are sacred, You are His
You're beautiful
And praying that you have the heart to find
Cause you are more than what is hurting you tonight
For all the lies you've held inside so long
And they are nothing in the shadow of the cross
You're beautiful
You're beautiful
You are made so much more than all of this
You're beautiful
You're beautiful
You are treasured, You are sacred, You are His
You're beautiful

Before you ever took a breath
Long before the world began
Of all the wonders He possessed
There was one more precious
Of all the earth and skys above
You're the one He madly loves
Enough to death
You're beautiful
You're beautiful
In His eyes
You're beautiful
You were meant for so much more than all of this

You're beautiful
You are treasured, You are sacred, You are His
You're beautiful
You're beautiful
You're meant for so much more than all of this
You're beautiful
You're beautiful
You are treasured, You are sacred, You are His

This song reminds us of how much God loves us for who we are and thinks we are beautiful no matter what. We are beautiful because Christ has shed his blood for us and we are new creations. Made in Christ's image, we are beautiful in God's eyes. 1 Samuel 16:7 says " Do not look on his appearance or on the height of his stature, because I have rejected him. For the Lord sees not as man sees: man looks on the outward appearance, but the Lord looks on the heart.” Then, Song of Soloman 4:7 says "You are altogether beautiful, my love; there is no flaw in you." This is how God sees all of us! We don't deserve it at all, but He sees us as flawless because of His grace and because of Jesus! When Jesus died on the cross, He bridged the gap between us and God.
One of my favorite songs called "O, how he loves us" says " if grace is an ocean, we're all sinking." I don't think there is a better way to describe the immensity of God's grace. It also says "We are His portion and He is our prize, drawn to redemption by the grace in His eyes." My question to you is, do our lives show that He is our prize? Do we prize Him, praising Him and giving glory to Him through everything that we do? I know that I don't do this consistently. I'm selfish; you are selfish; we are all selfish. It's a fact. And it's why we need the grace of God! But, we cannot constantly give excuses and continue to sin the same sins and ignore it. That's not showing other people that we prize God above all. I encourage you to think about that. It's something that has been on my mind lately. I want my life to show that I know and understand the depth of the grace I have been given, and that I want God to always be my utmost prize. I know it is a struggle because it is a radical change to do this daily, but we can surely strive to do so.

Rejoicing in all circumstances

"Yet I will rejoice in the Lord; I will be joyful in God my Savior. The sovereign Lord is my strength; he makes my feet like the feet of a deer; he enables me to tread on the heights." Habakkuk 3:18-19

"Rejoice in the Lord always; again I will say it, rejoice!" Philippians 4:4

What is my reason for rejoicing today? Well, there are many, but right now I feel like rejoicing because I know who my Lord and Savior. It's really been on my mind since church this morning. Today we read from Matthew 1, and the phrase the pastor kept repeating was "He is with us." That is what I have had to constantly remind myself of and place my hope in over the past month or so. Emmanuel: God is with us. He never leaves or forsakes us, and He is with us wherever we go. He is our hope in time of need, and He is our rock and our shelter, our fortress and our shield.

About two years ago, I decided that I wanted to have a relationship with God. I realized that I had made God a part of my life, but my life was not centered around God. It's easy to do this in high school and when you first get to college because there are so many distractions, temptations, and worldly things that, at the time, matter a lot more than they should. I had some Christian influences in my life, but no one had been keeping me accountable, and I never wanted to be very involved with church activities. I remember being busy with sports and school, and being a perfectionist about school especially. My excuse for not going to youth group was either school or the fact that I hadn't been going consistently and everyone else had, and they had made their friends already. It's so sad that I thought that way. I was completely missing out on God because I cared so much about what other people thought about me, and I also lived to please other people. I think I wanted to please other people to make me feel better about myself, and maybe because I thought it would get them to like me more. Sounds a little immature, right? Maybe I'm exaggerating a little, but until the end of my senior year, this is what my life looked like.

At the end of senior year, I started to grow up a little bit, and read my Bible every now and then. It started with my college decision: I wanted to go to God for that because I couldn't decide on my own. So I started praying a little more than normal, and for some reason I landed on Samford. God already had that in His plan for me, and He wanted to do big things with it. I had absolutely no clue about this, and I couldn't care less at the time. I thought I was a good person; I was fairly satisfied with my life, and when I came to God with a problem, it usually got solved eventually.

After some serious self-examining and searching, as well as being surrounded by a few friends who were living for God and growing, I finally figured out where I wanted to find my identity, and that was in Christ. A lot happened in between, but I'm making a long story short. This is a VERY short version of my testimony. Haha. Basically, God did a LOT of work in my heart during my first semester at Samford, which I am SO thankful for today. God really is so good.

I just wanted to share a little with yall today because I am feeling so thankful that, for the past few years, I have felt God's presence with me and not ignored it! Of course there have been some times when I have, but overall, He has been there and I have been letting Him work in me and I hope through me a little as well. God has ALWAYS been by my side, I just didn't acknowledge it much for most of my life. I went to Him only when I needed Him for something, not because I desired to know Him better and because I loved Him with all of my heart.

We all struggle in our relationships with God, but we are all imperfect, and that is a part of walking with Him. When I thought I was a good person, I was 100% wrong. I am a sinner, and I am dirty, but Christ cleanses me and makes me into a new creation, and I am only worthy because of His grace and mercy. We can rejoice in the fact that we are not good people, but we have a Savior who loves us with all of His heart and who is with us ALWAYS!! My heart hurts for those who do not know Christ. It is impossible to fully express what He has done in my life, but He changes you, and it is amazing! I can rejoice because He has a plan for my life, and He forgives me every day. We can rejoice in the good times and in the bad because God is sovereign and God is good.

Encouragement from the Bible

Hi, so I was reading in my chronological Bible, and I read some of the Scripture from yesterday and today. Ironically, some of the verses from yesterday, when I had chemo, were so perfect, and are some of my favorites. I just think that shows how God has the right words for us at the right time. He is so faithful. The passages from yesterday, December 16, were Philippians 3:1-4:23 and 1 Timothy 1:1-2:15. I just wanted to share with you a few sections from those passages that I really love:

"But whatever was to my profit I now consider loss for the sake of Christ. What is more, I consider everything a loss compared to the surpassing greatness of knowing Christ Jesus my Lord, for whose sake I have lost all things. I consider them rubbish, that I may gain Christ and be found in him, not having a righteousness of my own that comes from thelaw, but that which is through faith in Christ--the righteousness that comes from God and is by faith." Philippians 3:7-9

"Rejoice in the Lord always, I will say it again: Rejoice! Let your gentleness be evident to all. The Lord is near. Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and minds in Christ Jesus. Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable--If anything is excellent or praiseworthy--think about such things. Whatever you have learned or received or heard from me, or seen in me--put itinto practice. And the God of peace will be with you. . . I can do everything through him who gives me strength." Philippians 4:4-9, 13

"But for that very reason I was shown mercy so that in me, the worst of sinners, Christ Jesus might display his unlimited patience as an example for those who would believe on him and receive eternal life." 1 Timothy 1:16

Then from today's reading, 1 Timothy 3:1-6:21

"For everything God created is good, and nothing is to be rejected if it is received with thanksgiving, because it is consecrated by the word of God and prayer." 1 Timothy 4:4

"Don't let anyone look down on you because you are young, but set an example for the believers in speech, in life, in love, in faith, and in purity. Until I come, devote yourself to the public reading of Scripture, to preaching and to teaching." 1 Timothy 4:12-13

"But you, man of God, flee from all this, and pursue righteousness, godliness, faith, love, endurance and gentleness. Fight the good fight ofthe faith. Take hold of the eternal life to which you were called when you made your good confession in the presence of many witnesses." 1 Timothy 6:11-12

I hope you all are encouraged by these verses. They are all very convicting to me. "For the Word of God is living and active. Sharper than a double-edged sword, it penetrates even to dividing soul and spirit, joints and marrow; it judges the thoughts and attitudes of the heart." Hebrews 4:12

P.S. My sister just found out she got into PA school after 2 years of being on the waiting list! Praise God! He is so good, and His will is perfect. :)

Sometimes I get discouraged, but He is there

3 down, 5 to go. Each time I get a little less scared, but I also hate it just a little more. I don't hate who I am or what situation I'm in right now, I just hate cancer. Don't get me wrong--I'm not depressed, and you don't need to worry about that happening. But I am a real person, and no one likes cancer. No matter how confident I am that God will heal me because He IS the ultimate Healer, I still fear, and I still get discouraged. Sitting in a room surrounded by people with different types of cancers and different drug treatments really freaks me out sometimes.
I talked to the lady sitting next to me today, in between watching Dirty Dancing and then falling asleep from the Tylenol, Benadryl, and all the bags of drugs going into my body that make you so fatigued. Anyway, this lady's daughter went to my high school and then went to college at Georgia State, and we started talking about school and Christian values being a part of a university. We also talked about Christian summer camps and how they differ so much from one to the other. She lives on the other side of town and goes to a church where I used to sing in chorus concerts in high school! I enjoyed talking to her. I was afraid to ask what kind of cancer she has, but I asked her how long she had been coming to the cancer center. She said she had been coming since January 2009, and then she asked about me and wished me luck with everything. I felt horrible. I'm only going to be getting treatments through March, which is less than 6 months, and this woman has been getting treated for 2 years and is still fighting. It scared me so much, and made me want to cry for her. It hurts so much to see people go through pain, but sometimes it is even worse just hearing the truth and hearing about what they are going through. It almost makes me feel selfish sometimes because while I am sitting here crying about everything going on, there are people who have been fighting cancers for years and people who die everyday from cancer. It hurts just thinking about it.

It hurts thinking about how God allows suffering, and how He chooses how and when to heal. It's one of those things that is so hard to understand. I know that He works through all suffering and He has a good plan for everyone, but it is still not fun to experience it, that's for sure. Looking at other people's suffering from an outsider's perspective is even harder than I think it would be to experience a lot of your own suffering. Today when I was talking to the woman next to me, I felt ashamed because of the way I talk about cancer. I didn't want her to think it wasn't affecting me, and I don't think she thought that, but I realized that I try to put on this front that is almost somewhat prideful. I love God and trust Him, but I do hate what's happening, and it is definitely NOT easy. The last thing I would ever want to be is fake, and I am learning so much through people like the woman I met today. I don't think she would mind me using her last name, so I'm going to call her Mrs. Baker.

I really hope that next time I get my treatment, on Wedneday, December 29, that I get to see Mrs. Baker again. I hope that I can talk to her about what she has been going through, and let her know that I care about what she is going through. I felt selfish today. Doctors and nurses say, "You're so young. You shouldn't have to be dealing with this now." And "you're in college? you're only 21?" etc. But honestly, no matter how old you are, there is no good time to have cancer. Mrs. Baker has two kids and a husband who are all going through this with her. My family is all going through this with me, as are my friends. I pray that Mrs. Baker is going to get through this as well, and that she will be healed soon. I know these past two years have not been easy for her. It is humbling because I can say that I know because I've gone through it for a month, but really, what I have gone through is probably nothing compared to what she has experienced. Two years of fighting is a long time.

I guess what I'm trying to say through all of this is that life is so fragile, and even in the darkest of situations, we all have something for which we should be thankful. I'm thankful that I'm going to be finished with this in 5 treatments and 5 weeks of radiation. I think Mrs. Baker is thankful that she is still fighting after these two years, and she is trusting in God to heal her and give her the hope she needs. At least that's what I think, because I'm trying to do that, even though I can already confidently say I'm going to get through it. I just know God's not anywhere near finished yet. I'm not trying to sound prideful, or to sound like I know exactly what God has planned for me because I definitely don't. In fact, I have no clue. I just have a feeling that He is not finished, and that He is going to do good.

It is easy to get discouraged, but I do know He is with me. Sometimes I try to find comfort in other people, and it works for a while, but ultimately, none of us are perfect, and it is impossible to do so. We can find full satisfaction, comfort, hope, and peace in Him alone. He alone satisfies our needs and desires. I can't learn to put my full hope in anything but Him.

I hope I didn't discourage anyone or make anyone sad or anything by reading this post. In fact, I hope that I did the opposite. I hope that you all are encouraged to put your faith in God alone and to trust Him and know that He really is the only one in whom you can hope. Remember, He is with you wherever you go.



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Muddy Waters

Do you ever have trouble understanding what God is doing in your life? Ever get confused about something that has happened, whether it be a small thing or something big? Sometimes life is just so confusing, and situations can be so hard to understand. What do you do then? Well, it's up to you, but only if that's what you choose.
Instead of saying it's up to you, I should tell you that it really is up to God. No matter how confusing something may be, it's happening because of something God is doing in your life. It might be hard to understand at the time, but later you will see that God did have a plan for it. You can try to manipulate situations on your own, but God will end up turning everything right back in the direction it was headed in the beginning.

I have a lot of confusion in my life, and I'm sure you have a lot in yours as well. I encourage you to embrace it. Don't get discouraged, but look to God, and trust Him. Trust that the confusion will work itself out, with God's help of course. I know it's frustrating sometimes, and you might feel like you don't deserve it. But I promise, and I'm speaking to myself as well, that God will show Himself in it. He will show you that yes, it was frustrating, and it was painful, but you will also learn so many lessons. Lately, I've learned patience, and I've learned to trust God and rely on Him completely. I've learned to accept things the way they are and to live out whatever sitiuation I'm in for His glory. I've learned to not take things personally, and to love people for who they are. These are all difficult lessons to learn, but I've learned them because of where I've been on God's path for my life and because of where I am now.

I have no clue what I'm going to be doing when I graduate from Samford. But, am at peace with God right now, and not just about that, but about so many other aspects of my life. I pray that you all can find the same peace and experience the overwhelming comfort that comes with it. God's love is so powerful, and it captivates me. I am learning that all I need is Christ because only He can completely satisfy my desires. Christ should always be at the center of your life and everything and everyone in it.

If you are still confused and upset with whatever you are dealing with in your life, I encourage you to read Hebrews and Philippians, which are two of my favorites. God is in control, and He is good, and if you haven't let Him in your life yet or you haven't given everything to Him, I encourage you to do so, because He really will change your life. It's something that's almost impossible to describe, but it's real, and when He's living with you and you're abiding in Him, life looks so radically different than anything you could have imagined.



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Staying Strong

I'm going to try to update this blog every now and then. I haven't been very good at blogging this semester. Today I'm having a little bit of a rough time. Last night I decided to go ahead and get my hair buzzed because it was falling out everywhere, and the top of my head was already pretty bald. A few of my wonderful friends went with me, and I just love them so much. I don't know what I would do if God had not put each one of them in my life. I know they are all in it for a reason, and I'm so blessed to call them my friends. There are also so many other people and friends I have who have been so encouraging throughout the past several weeks, and I'm so thankful for them as well. Knowing how much people care sometimes just leaves me speechless, but I know that the love and encouragement they are able to give is because of God. It's all because of God.

I woke up this morning and got in the shower and kind of freaked out when I ran my fingers through what's left of my hair. I think I would rather just have it all gone, and I'm going to go shave it when I get home this week. In the Bible, hair is actually a symbol of a woman's glory, and long hair used to be considered prideful. That makes me feel a little better, but it's still hard. I can tell myself it's just hair, but I don't really think that is the source of the problem. Yes, I'm kind of disheartened by the fact that my head is practically bald, but what is really making me upset is just the fact that it's so different from anything I've ever experienced before, and that's scary in itself. It's looking at myself in a different way than ever before that is so difficult to do. It's painful trying to see myself through God's eyes only. He thinks we're all beautiful because we are His creations--not because of the hair on our heads. He does know how many we have though! "But the Lord said to Samuel, 'Do not consider his appearance or his height, for I have rejected him. The LORD does not look at the things people look at. People look at the outward appearance, but the LORD looks at the heart.'” --1 Samuel 16:7. Having almost no hair is so humbling that it hurts. But it's okay to be sad sometimes, as long as you realize that you need to look to God for your strength, and only He can heal the hurt, the sick, the sad, and the wounded. So, I guess my tears are okay. I always feel so... weak when I cry, but we are weak! That's why it is already so humbling for me, even just because I'm realizing that even more every day. We are weak, but He is strong. And He can get me through anything and everything that comes my way because it is in His plan. Trust Him with all of your heart.

A Blessing in Disguise

I wanted to share a little of what I was thinking about when I was journaling today:)

So it's been pretty crazy for the past month or so. But even though I'm a little scared right now, I know God is with me, and I'm learning a lot through this. A few weeks ago when I was diagnosed with Hodgkins, I kind of just sat there, almost laughing to myself. I was somewhat surprised by the words that came out of my surgeon's mouth, but also somewhat not. I don't know why, but I kind of had a feeling that God was doing something crazy in my life, and that it was in the works. Things had already been a little crazy this semester, and I had already been learning a lot about patience and also just the fact that you can't let the little things in life get you down. There are so many examples of this, but I won't list them all.

The big things are another story. Cancer is definitely one of these. I hate the word "cancer." Maybe because I associate it with family members who have passed away, sad movies, being terminally ill, etc. I don't know, I just really don't like the word. The same goes for "disease"-- it just sounds contagious and not fun. I could call having "cancer" or a "disease" a curse, but I think the phrase I'll put with it is "an unfortunate blessing in disguise." How is having Hodgkin's lymphoma a blessing in disguise? I'm going to be honest and say that it's been hard for me to see it as that, but I'm starting to. The fact that it's a blessing in disguise does not have to mean that it is something easy to fathom. In fact, it is quite the opposite! No one wants to have cancer, and no one knows what it feels like to have it until you do. A lot of cancer patients ask, "Why me?", and even some become depressed because they can just not beat the fact that something is attacking their body and they may not be capable of fighting it. It's a scary thing, especially if you are really young or old and weak. For someone like me, a girl in her 20s who has been fairly athletic most of her life, it is still scary, but it already gives me a greater chance of winning the fight. The good thing with Hodgkin's is that I don't have to worry about that! It's almost 100% cureable, which is such a blessing. Yes, I still have to go through chemo and radiation, but after a few more months, I'm going to have hair again, be cancer-free, and live a long, normal life. I know that this unfortunate blessing in disguise is as part of God's plan for my life, and He wants to make my faith stronger through it.

Right now, it's been kind of hard to focus on anything else by my health, but the fact that I have so much else going on in my life on which I need/want to focus, has drawn me closer to God, if that makes any sense at all. Life has never been about me, even I have wanted it to be sometimes. It's always been about Him. Ironically, because of my circumstances, I do have to focus on myself in that I have to take care of myself and get well, but I have been learning more and more about getting the focus off of myself. I have always hated getting sick, and when I do, which has hardly ever happened, I hate it because I don't like getting attention or having people go out of their way. Lately, I've been really humbled because I've had to realize that sometimes it has to be okay. I have never liked the focus to be on me, especially since I'm the middle child. I've always been independent.

Anyway, what I'm trying to say is, it's been humbling to have to fight something and to face a lot of new experiences. I think the thing that has bothered me the most recently is that I desperately want God to be getting the attention and not me. I want Him to get the glory. He is way bigger than this, and He has a plan for it. I've been fighting with myself some, and I've been slowly learning how to rely on Him for everything and to trust in His perfect plans. I'm so much more thankful for the blessings I have been given, which are so undeserved. It is making me recognize the idols that I have and showing me that they are of no worth and only God is worthy of any praise. The fears I've had to face and am going to face are all in God's hands. Deuteronomy 31:6 says to be strong and courageous and to not fear because the Lord is with me and will never leave or forsake me. No matter what we are going through, God is with us, and He works everything together for our good. He is our Shepherd and he leads us in paths of righteousness for HIs name's sake. "Even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil, for you are with me, your rod and your staff, they comfort me." Psalm 23:4.

Facing the unknown is a scary thing. It's difficult to know that God is with you and to feel His presence as well as to believe that he completely covers all of my doubts, fears, worries, etc. I pray that we can all turn to the Lord's peace and comfort when we need it because that is something we will never be able to find on our own. One of my favorite chapters of the Bible is Philippians 4. The end of verse 5 through verse 7 says, "The Lord is at hand. Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God. And the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus." I need this reminder daily. In fact, I should probably write it on a hat and wear it around every day. And maybe I should write it backwards so I can read it whenever I look in a mirror. :) No, but seriously, it's a struggle to follow this verse and to believe it wholeheartedly and all the time, but when we seek God, He answers our prayers and comforts us with that peace that surpasses all understanding. It's true.

I'm not perfect, that's for sure, but I do know that God uses these "unfortunate blessings in disguise" and suffering as an attempt to mold us into the image of Christ. I hope and pray that I can become more like Christ through all of the trials I encounter in my life, and right now, this one. It's a little scary, extremely humbling, and easily capable of consuming my thoughts, but if I allow God to completely take over, I think I'm going to look back on this time later and understand everything and see that God has done a lot of work through it. I can already it happening. God is so good, and we can bring Him all the glory even through trials that we face. They can be so frustrating, but I just want to encourage you to remember that He has a plan, and that will keep you strong. And prayer always helps too:) "Cast your anxieties on Him, for he cares for you." 1 Peter 5:7

Life Comes At You Fast

Hi. I haven't blogged for a few months. Life really does fly by. I'm amazed that we're halfway finished with the semester, and I'm a junior! It's pretty scary thinking about graduating in a little over a year and a half. Life keeps going even when you want to hit pause. And, it continues to surprise me. Or I should say that God continues to surprise me, in good ways and bad. I have to keep reminding myself that everything that comes my way contributes to God's plan for my life, whether it's positive or negative.
 Recently, I've had a few issues with technology. This is one example of the negative. I've had two phones break in the past month, a laptop crash, and my new laptop give me problems twice already. Also, someone purchased things with my debit card, so the bank had to close out my card. Lovely, I know. Those are just random things I don't mind mentioning in a blog. Of course, other things have happened too. God definitely likes to test my faith and put a few challenges in my life here and there. It's easy to focus on those and get frustrated, depressed, disheartened, discouraged, upset, etc., but that's a personal choice. I'm not saying that I'm perfect and never have those feelings, because I'm human and I definitely do.
However, we have the choice to be that way all the time or to choose to be positive and seek God. When we seek God, we realize that those things that might discourage or frustrate us every now and then actually can help us grow, and that there are so many reasons to focus on our blessings instead of our occasional curses. I shared part of my testimony with some people on Sunday, and before and after, I was thinking about how life changes so quickly, and it can be for better or for worse. For me, it changed for better when I became a Christian, and God continues to shape me into who I am becoming. He has given me a joy and a love for life that I didn't have a few years ago, and it's amazing to look at each day of my life and to find God working. It's easy to go through life and never see the need for God, but if you do that, you are missing out on a completely different life, and an amazing one for sure. No, it won't be easy, because living a life for Christ is nowhere near that. We are inherently evil, sinners from the beginning, so becoming like Christ in our lives is seemingly impossible.
 But, we can definitely strive toward that, and reading and studying the Word and living it out leads to becoming more like Christ. If we take each day of our lives and use it for the best, then when life "comes at you fast," you will be able to say you lived it for Christ and not for yourself, and that you took advantage of every opportunity to share your faith, etc. This is something that is so hard for me to do. It's easy to let the days go by and not share your faith because we focus on our own lives and our own agendas. I encourage you to focus on God's agenda and to live your life for Christ, seeing the blessings of each day and staying positive even when the hardships come along.

Living life to the fullest

Stop for a minute and think about your life. Has it had both ups and downs? Have there been many moments where you've been so excited/happy that you wanted to shout for you, and have there also been those moments where you have wanted to break down and possibly cry? A life of ups and downs is a normal life, and it is also what life is like with Christ. Believe it or not, life with a relationship with Christ can actually be harder than life without Him, but life without Him really isn't "life" at all. This morning I heard a really powerful sermon in a church that was held in a movie theater! One of the passages the pastor talked about was 1 John 5: 4-5, 11-12. An important part of this excerpt are the words, "whoever has the Son has life." The pastor told everyone that we are doomed to lose in life if we don't have God, and all the work we have done is for nothing. We have no hope for victory, and we are doomed for eternal lostness. God took all of human sin and punished Jesus on the cross in our place. I just think that's amazing. I've realized I use the words "amazing" and "awesome" a lot, but I can't think of a better word to describe it at the moment. Romans 6:23 says "for the wages of sin is death, but the free gift of God is eternal life in Jesus Christ our Lord." Because of Jesus' sacrifice on the cross, we can live and be forgiven for our sins, and more importantly, if we follow Christ, we will not be doomed to hell but will be able to spend eternal life in heaven! I can't even begin to think of how amazing (yes I used that word again) heaven is going to be, and I'm just so excited to be able to live eternally with my Savior! It scares me to think that any day I could be driving along the road and get in an accident or die in my sleep, etc., but it is reassuring to know that when I die, I will only die on earth and I will live a better life in heaven! I believe that we each have a special purpose here on earth, and God keeps us here for as long as He thinks we should have to fulfill that purpose. For some people, that purpose may be to simply bring joy to a lot of people in your life through your relationships, including relationships at school, with your family and in your career. Others have different purposes. All of them center around Jesus though. God desires for us all to be Christlike in our lives and in our actions. Our purpose is to live for Christ and to glorify God through our lives because we have so much for which we should be thankful. He died for us, so we should want to live for Him.

 "Abide in me as I abide in you. Just as the branch cannot bear fruit by itself unless it abides in the vine, neither can you unless you abide in me. I am the vine, you are the branches. Those who abide in me and I in them bear much fruit, because apart from me you can do nothing. If you abide in me, and my words abide in you, ask for whatever you wish, and it will be done for you. If you keep my commandments, you will abide in my love, just as I have kept my Father's commandments and abide in his love." (John 15:4-5,7,10)


Without Christ in our lives, we cannot bear fruit. We may think we are successful, but we in fact are eternally doomed. If we pursue a relationship with God, our prayers will be answered, in one way or another. Life won't always be easy, that's for sure, but we will always have God's love and He will be with us every step of the way, allowing us to bear fruit and to see the results of it in our lives. In 1 Peter 5 it says the devil roars around like a lion, and our job is to try to stay alert and watch out for our enemy because he sucks us in and changes our life for the worse, while Christ can change our lives for the better if we let Him! Whoever has the Son has life, and life without Christ is not a life I want to live.

I will leave you with this verse: "I have said these things to you, that in me you may have peace. In the world you may have tribulation, but take heart, for I have overcome the world." John 16:33

having faith

Faith is one of the hardest parts of Christianity. As a Christian, it is always hard to be sure of everything, and there are always unanswered questions. However, the Bible says that we have to have faith in order to believe and to trust God. Hebrews 11:1 says that "faith is the assurance of things hoped for and the conviction of things unseen." I recently had a conversation with someone I had just met. He had just recently become a Christian, and he had struggled with seeing God work in others lives. I told him that was surprising because most people are the opposite: they have trouble seeing God work in their lives. This guy told me that one of the things he learned was that he had to have faith that God really was acting and moving all around him, all of the time. He told me that he looks at faith as something that should actually come to us naturally, rather than as something you constantly search for and wonder why you need it, etc. I was curious as to how he approached it. He explained it something so complex in simple terms. He said that when it comes to God, we always struggle with having faith in who He is and in His will for our lives, His purpose for us, etc. But, for example, when we sit in a chair, we don't have to test that out or wonder if it's going to hold us up or if we're going to break it. We have faith that it will support us. We also do this with driving. We trust and have faith that our cars will get us from one point to the next without breaking down. Then, he asked me, "how can we have faith in such things as these but then question our faith in God, who is so powerful and present in our lives? He created us and is a supernatural being who sits above all of us in heaven and reigns down, and sometimes we don't even have as much faith in Him as we do in our cars. It's just hard for me to understand." He said that he sees it as something much simpler and just a part of being a Christian and wanting to have a purpose in life. Having faith helps you see what that purpose is and also helps you to see God working in your life all the time, every day of your life. The Bible says that we should walk by faith and not by sight, and I encourage you to do that. It may not seem easy, but if you trust in the Word and in the Holy Spirit that is living inside of you, then you might realize it's a lot easier than you think. Just don't think too hard. :)

i have a reason to worship

All of my life, in every season, You are still God! I have a reason to sing. I have a reason to worship. These words are so powerful. They have so much meaning in them. God will never leave or forsake us, and everything created by God is good and there is good that comes from everything in life, even if it may or may not seem like it at the time. My sister is getting married a week from today, and I pray that in all seasons of their marriage, they will see God in each other and they will believe that no matter how the day goes, God is always there and there is always a reason to worship Him and sing praise to Him! No matter where you are, in everything you do, may you bring God glory and realize that He is the reason for living and He supplies us with our needs and blesses us with many things we do not deserve. :)

Random Thoughts

I haven't written in a few weeks! I honestly forgot I had a blog after I got home from camp-- it felt like I was in a different world! The world of Greystone consists of enthusiastic and energetic campers, counselors and camp directors, and the love of God and joy surrounding you is so contagious. It is almost impossible to be sad, lonely or upset at Greystone because there are so many people constantly pouring joy, love and care into you, and you are also expected to do the same. Sometimes things got a little tough when a camper was homesick or half of my cabin was in the Health Hut (which thankfully, I escaped), but everything always seemed to not just work out, but to end up great. I remember thinking, "Things really do get difficult sometimes, but it really doesn't stay that way very long!", and that reassured me and helped me enjoy every moment of every day. It is really amazing how good God is, and how powerful it is to be in His presence and to share it with over 600 people around me. One of the times I miss the most about Greystone is when we are at Morning Assembly and everyone is worshipping, singing praise to God and dancing. I mostly just miss looking around the pavillion and seeing everyone having so much fun and being so genuine. God was and is working in all of our lives, and it was so evident at those moments especially. Everyone contributes to the greatness of Greystone, but some of the campers impacted me the most. And, my campers impacted me, but so many others did as well. It is so interesting to meet girls of all different ages and backgrounds, in addition to unique personalities. Each and every girl I met had a smile on her face at some point in time. Many smiled all the time, and it took a lot of humor, talking and cheering up in order to get some to smile. As you might know, smiling and laughing are a part of who I am, and I don't understand people who don't smile or laugh often. One of my goals at Greystone was to get every girl with whom I interacted to smile or laugh. It didn't always happen, but when you make a little girl smile, laugh or talk when she may seem like the most shy girl in the world, it not only satisfies you personally, but you see that the joy in your heart may be rubbing off on them. And, since I know that my joy comes from the Lord, when I see them joyful, I know the Lord is in them and is working in their heart as well. Some of the campers already had so much love and joy of the Lord in them, and others were far from that, but I believe that almost all of the campers, if not all of them, found a little more joy and love by spending 3 weeks at Greystone. It's encouraging to all of the counselors and directors to see the campers' joy and excitement beginning to become a constant in their lives, and I hope that they took that home with them. I miss my campers, and I miss Greystone! I also miss so many of the great counselors that I began to grow close to during camp, and I hope and pray that they are enjoying camp right now. Being a camp counselor taught me a lot about life, and one of the things I learned was that God really does have a plan, and every moment of the day is part of that plan. Also, He never fails us, and when we are down, He always picks us back up and gives us more faith than we had before. Furthermore, every growing Christian can impact others and show the character of Christ to them through their actions and words. Actions are definitely the most important, but words also have a strong impact, especially when you are speaking the Word. Of course, the Word of God is sharper than a double-edged sword, so those words are the most powerful. We always have the opportunity to share the Gospel, especially if we are fearful of it because that is when God is the most present and it is the most challenging. Camp also reminded me once again of my love for kids, and I've recently been thinking about my future. I know God knows what's in store, and He takes the steps for me, but I have been inspired to do some more thinking about the possibility of becoming a teacher. Obviously, my favorite subject to teach would be English, but I'm actually thinking I would love to teach 1st or 2nd graders. Yes, they are only 6-8 years old, but that is the age I love the most! Since they are just learning how to write, it is always so interesting to see the depths of their imaginations. They are so creative at that age! Working with the Greystone Gazette at camp was so fun, and I really felt like a writing teacher. I wasn't the best at it, but the most important thing was, I thoroughly enjoyed teaching those girls, and it was so fun to work with them. There aren't writing teachers for 6-8 year olds, but it is a part of what you teach, and the math and reading and science and whatever else I would have to teach would not be that difficult, at least I hope not:) Anyway, it's just a thought! I definitely want journalism to be a big part of my life and my future, but I'm not sure how it is going to connect with my love for kids and desire to work with them. I would love to do both, and I might do one or the other and then go to grad school later for the other. Who knows? Only time will tell (well, and God:)). Until then, I will trust God to lead me in the right direction and I will continue to try to honor Him in everything I do.

Camp Update!

So. . . working at a summer camp has been one of the most challenging but rewarding experiences I have ever had. Working as a counselor is definitely a 24/7 job, but I have learned way more from 7-14 year olds than I would have ever learned if I had stayed at home and worked this summer. The past three weeks have had ups and downs, but they have been more positive than negative, and each day is rewarding in itself. Greystone is amazing for many reasons, two of those being its people and the principles on which the camp runs. It is filled with God's love, and I can see God growing in everyone here. It may be at different times and in different ways, but God is filling us with joy and love, and we are also learning more about ourselves and about God's love and grace that He gives to us. A lot of campers have encouraged me in different ways. One example of someone who has encouraged me is one of my campers, Janie. I have been living with eight 11-year-old girls for the past two weeks, and it has been a great experience. Janie is one of these eight girls, and she is just precious. They all are, but I'll just talk about her tonight. Janie came to camp for the third or fourth summer, and she has a little problem every year with homesickness. She brought that with her this year, and it made the start to camp pretty rough. We had a few big talks, and she just couldn't get it out of her mind that she missed home. I told her that we were going to have so much fun, and I was going to make it my goal to help her not miss home and enjoy camp because we wanted her here and I knew she would end up loving it if she let herself! She told me she just couldn't help it, and I told her it was her choice to be homesick, but she can also think about how much she is doing at Greystone and wouldn't be able to do at home. Anyway, she ended up writing a letter home asking her mom to come get her and then telling me about it after she wrote it and mailed it, which wasn't good. But somehow, definitely with help from God, she convinced herself that she could have fun, and the day after she mailed that letter, she was telling me she wasn't homesick anymore, and she was ready to have fun! It was so great to see how God could help her change her mind, and how maybe, just maybe, the words that came from my mouth had some influence on her. It was encouraging, and it helped me see how God was going to work in me so much this summer, and how I was going to see Him work everywhere at camp in many different sizes, shapes and forms. And, that's not all. A few days later, Janie raised her hand during one of the devotions I was giving, and she asked to speak. She gave a great example of what I was talking about, and I was so glad to know that at least one girl was really listening and taking the Word of God and thinking and reflecting on it and applying it to her life. Also, during a few of my next devotions, she asked to read a verse from her Bible, and each time, the verses related to the verses I had read and discussed. It was awesome. I had talked about being a light for Christ in our lives, and I can see Janie doing that. She gives encouraging words to the other girls, and she loves the Word. I asked her about the verses she had read, and she said she has tabs on favorite verses that she finds in her Bible, and she remembers them and finds one that is relevant to the devotions. It's amazing to see the love of God in a child, and I've been able to see that a lot in girls at Greystone. I look forward to the next week, and I'm excited to come back at the end of July for another two weeks. Camp is great and God is so good.

Camp Greystone!

I leave for camp in about 7 hours, and I'm so excited. I'm praying that the Lord will use me and the other counselors at camp this summer to show Christ to the campers! Also, I pray that I will have a servant's heart and will be on fire for God this summer. I pray for all of the staff, and for the camp owners. May the peace of Christ fill our hearts and minds! I'm ready for the next four weeks of experiences, and then two more in August! Thank you, Lord, for giving me such a great opportunity:) I trust that I am in the right place at the right time, and that God is working in me and hopefully through me as well:) I might be able to update my blog while I'm at camp at least once or twice. I hope! Until then, God bless!

free to be me

I recently read a quote from Randy Alcorn that says, "We are made for a person and a place. Jesus is the person, and heaven is the place." We are made for Jesus. I am made for Jesus. Say that to yourself a few times, and you should already feel a boost of confidence. And you know what else? We all have the potential to be beautiful. In the Lord's eyes, we are all beautiful. If we follow the Lord and show who He is to the rest of the world, we are making ourselves even more beautiful. Song of Soloman 4:7 says, "You are altogether beautiful, my love. There is no flaw in you." Christ doesn't see a flaw in you. We are created for Him, and we are created in His image. He created you the way you are for a reason, and no one is to be exactly alike or anywhere near perfect. We were created sinless, but that quickly changed. However, with Jesus, we all have the opportunity to be forgiven. We can be forgiven once, twice, ten times, etc. If we continuously confess our sins and follow Jesus, we will begin to sin less and less as our relationship with Christ becomes stronger. Another quote I like says, "Life is like a box of chocolates: you never know what you're going to get." Well, one "thing" you can always get is Jesus, and He always wants you to pick Him. He's the best one in the box, and He loves you and thinks you are beautiful. Now that should make you smile:)

free to follow

AHHHH!!! Right now, I am SOOO excited about camp! I think I had a little too much Mountain Dew... But anyway, I've been working on getting some devotional material ready, which pretty much means putting a few memory verses on poster boards and taking some notes on daily devotional plans. I'm using a kids lesson book that I got from Lifeway and compiling some stuff from that as well as incorporating the fruits of the Spirit! I'm anxious to see what the Lord has in store for the 6 weeks I will be spending at camp this summer. Fortunately, I will be home during July to reflect on what God does in June and to prepare for August camp. Also in July, I'll be planning Samford's yearbook, the Entre Nous, and getting ready for my sister's wedding on July 17, as well as going to Panama City for a few days! Tonight I was thinking about everything that is going on and happening soon. First of all, it is just so crazy to be in Peachtree City for more than half the summer, and also to think that this will be my last summer here. Furthermore, this is the first summer that I will be in so many different places, and so much change is happening. So, one of the verses I chose to write on a poster tonight for camp is Psalm 37:4, which is one of my favorite verses. The verse reads, "Delight yourself in the Lord, and He will give you the desires of your heart." I was reading a comment someone had made about the verse online, and he had asked, "What's the catch to this verse?" Sadly, this guy did not fully understand the meaning of the verse. I understand how it could be misinterpreted because I know when I first read the verse, I thought about it in a different way. Based on the wording of the verse, you might think that if you pray to God, asking for something, that you will get it because it is your desire. However, "delighting" in the Lord does not simply mean praying, and especially does not involve selfish prayer. I think the verse means that if you delight in the Lord, praying, confessing sins, asking for wisdom and strength and praying for others, living for the Lord in word and in deed, your desires and His desires will end up matching. When you realize that the Lord has given you your heart's desires, you will see His faithfulness and also know that you are following Him. For me, it's really hard to know whether or not the desires of my heart and the choices I make are for myself or for the Lord. The easiest way to find out is simply to pray and think about what I want to follow before I do so. Today, one of my best friends went to Panama City to start Summer Beach Project, which helped me in my walk last summer and still encourages me today. It is life changing, and it's been hard to see her so excited about it because I want to go back so badly! The community at beach project is so uplifting and Christ-filled, and there is almost no way you can't grow at beach project. Even though I feel like I'm missing a lot this summer by not going on beach project, I have chosen to follow God and go in another direction, and I'm confident that it was the right decision. I have prayed a lot about this summer, and I think that God is going to work everywhere I go this summer and in everything I do. I am thrilled to be able to share my faith with girls at camp, and I hope that God allows me to show them the love and joy of Christ. Last summer I learned how to share my faith, and this summer I follow God's will to put that knowledge to the test and live amongst young, growing girls who may or may not have a relationship with Christ. Telling anyone about Jesus is both exciting and challenging because you never know exactly what to say or how they will respond, but ultimately, it is what God commands us to do. Matthew 28:19 says, "Go therefore and make disciples of all nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit," and how can we not obey the most important command He has given us? I don't have an answer for that, and I doubt that you do. However, we so easily fail to follow His commands. When we don't follow God's commands, we aren't following Him. That's it-- there isn't a "but" or an "it's ok" to be said. I confess that I am not nearly as intentional as I have the potential or be or want to be, and I pray that God will stir up more confidence in me to do so. We are free to follow Him, we just choose to do what we want to do most of the time. Unfortunately, until our desires match God's, we will not be given those desires, or we will at least not be happy with the results. There is a purpose and a plan for everyone who chooses to follow Him, but that requires trust and commitment, as well as a free spirit willing to take on any challenge that comes. Whatever your plans might be this summer, I encourage you to let God intervene, and to allow Him to show you and lead you, so that you can follow, delighting in the Lord, and allowing your desires to conform with His.

free to move

There are many definitions of the word "move." According to dictionary.com, it can mean "to proceed," "to take action," "to change from one place to another," "to affect one's emotions," etc. Moving has been a big part of my life this year. At the beginning of this year, my family moved to Shanghai, China, where my dad has been working for the past 2 1/2 years. Right after they moved, I moved back to Samford. This year at Samford, God has moved in my life in many ways. After beach project, I came to Samford on fire for the Lord and with the desire to be intentional in every aspect of my life. I had become a more content, confident but less prideful person, and I was ready for God to help me take even bigger steps in my faith. Fortunately, He helped me to do that through the good and the bad. No matter how hard you try for it not to happen, there is always going to be some bad, but the good thing is, God works through everything. Nothing can separate us from Him. Romans 8:38-39 says, "neither life nor death, neither angels nor demons, neither the present nor the future, nor any powers, neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord." And when we are with Christ, we will always be moving--physically, mentally, spiritually, emotionally, etc. This August, my family will be moving to Jupiter, Fla. After living in Peachtree City, Ga. for the past 20 years (almost my entire life), it was a huge shock to find out that we would have to sell our house and move to a city over 11 hours from Birmingham. The move to China was a huge one, but I still had a house to go back to in Peachtree City, and now that would be gone. When I first found out, I was initially shocked and sad-- I would be leaving my hometown, where I grew up! Most people would react the same way. However, there is also a positive way to look at it, and when I realized that, it made reality so much easier to grasp. The reality of it is that God is in control, and He has blessed my dad with another job! Going to Florida is going to be a great opportunity, and with today's economy, it is such a blessing just to be employed. Also, they could stay in China and have to sell the house, and then it would be worse! Or they could move all the way to the West coast! Who knows what could have happened. What matters is what did happen, and what's going to happen, and that we don't worry about it. After all, God says we shouldn't worry about tomorrow b/c today has enough troubles of it's own, and it's so true. And, worrying about anything is simply a waste of time and energy. Instead of worrying about life, whether it be work, school, a guy, money or what you're going to wear tomorrow, let God move in  you by letting Him into your daily life. I encourage you to read the Bible and to soak it in and use it as a model for your daily life-- don't just let the Word flow out of you. Instead, let it flow through you and move you to become more like Christ and ultimately, help you to be more content, to bear fruit and to enjoy life. :)

free to love

Don't get too excited. This blog is not about my current or past love life. I don't have a boyfriend, and I'm happy being single. I'm content with who I am and where I am, and I know it will come if and when God wants it to. That's something I struggle with, but I've realized it's so easy to settle, but if you're settling, then it's not right. Therefore, here I am, a 20-year-old girl who has never been in a relationship before. Except for the most important relationship you can have, which is the one I have with Jesus Christ. Back in high school and even before that, I thought the only way I could be completely happy is if I was well-loved by everyone around me, and I wanted guys to like me. Honestly, most of the time, I wanted them to like me and appreciate me for the way I looked, not for the person whom I really was. Today, I'm not proud of that. I'm not too proud of who I was or of my skewed perceptions. I used to be a people pleaser, and I still struggle with it. I want everyone to be happy, and if I can have anything to do with that, I'll try to do whatever I can to make it possible. There's nothing wrong with that, unless you let it consume you. Other people should not make you content-- Christ should. If you depend on other people for contentment, you will constantly fight against the impossible. Christ is the only one who can make you fully content, the only one who can fully satisfy your soul. Christ tells us to love others, and to live lives of love, but He wants us to love Him the most. After all, He laid down His life for our sins, and He loves us more than anyone ever can. I think before I can love anyone else, I need to love Christ with all of my heart, soul and mind. I can confidently say that I love Christ, but I feel like I am still growing so much in my relationship with Him, and until the Lord thinks I'm in the right place with that relationship, He doesn't want me to love anyone else as well as Christ. I want to love Him with all of my heart. Not 99% of it, but 100%, and I just pray that love will shine on others, and that it won't be all about pleasing them b/c that's not honoring of the Lord. Instead, I pray that it will be about showing them the love of Christ, which is the love I want to have and share with others. We love because He first loved us. :)
"Love is patient and kind; love does not envy or boast; it is not arrogant or rude. It does not insist on its own way; it is not irritable or resentful; it does not rejoice at wrongdoing, but rejoices with the truth. Love bears all things, believes all things, endures all things. Love never ends." 1 Corinthians 13:4-7

free to choose

Wow, it's Thursday night. This week I have been completely distracted by papers, interviews, work and being a little under the weather, and it has really made me think about our freedom of choice. We have the freedom to make our own decisions, and often we make them out of selfish wants and desires rather than for the "right" reasons. When we choose to be distracted by the real world and caught up in worldly things, we are both ignoring God and basicallly pushing Him away. The less time we spend with God, the more we distance ourselves from Him and fail to grow in our relationship and in our faith. Also, when we focus on ourselves and the world, we are telling God that we can be self-sufficient, which is impossible! God is the only one who can satisfy us, and we have to depend on Him because if we depend on ourselves, it will just create confusion and ultimately, disaster. Psalm 37:4 says to delight in the Lord, and He will give you the desires of your heart. Some people might interpret this verse literally, and therefore believe that the Lord will give you whatever you want if you ask Him for it. Ask and you shall receive. . . But, I interpret it differently, and the Lord has a deeper meaning to those words. If we choose to follow the Lord, to submit to Him, to find complete satisfaction in Him, then He will give us our heart's desires-- but our desires will actually be His that He instills in us. If we are following the Lord and trusting in Him, we are making a good choice, and He will change our desires to fit His. He will not always give us what we want, because then He wouldn't be a sovereign, powerful God. He sometimes makes us suffer, but He blesses us everyday, so we should look for it and praise Him for it! You have the freedom to choose a relationship with Him, and when you do or if you have, He is always waiting for you with a listening ear and a loving heart. It is so important to come to the Lord when you need help making a decision, because He has the plan for your life. You cannot make it yourself because your world will start falling apart. Proverbs 16:9 says, "The heart of a man plans His way, but the Lord establishes his steps." So, I encourage you to come to the Lord before you make choices because even though you have the freedom to decide yourself, you also have the freedom to come to Him, and He wants you to do that. Choose to pray; choose to listen; choose to obey.

free to breathe

This weekend was one of the best in a long time. Friday night consisted of babysitting the three sweetest, cutest girls in the world, Yogurt Mountain, a movie night and a sleepover in our room. Saturday was more movie watching, dinner downtown with friends, Mad Gab and Catchphrase and another movie. Oh and 15 minute weather updates from Liz or from weather.com's radar maps. It's ok-- despite the sirens, there were no tornados, and the five of us did not end up having to all try and fit in our 5 by 5 bathroom in order to stay safe. That would have been a memorable experience. Today was the best of all. I started off the day going to Brook Hills with the group and listening to another one of David Platt's amazing sermons. Today's sermon was on Psalm 10, and David spoke a lot about having the right motives for adoption and foster parenting, and about how we are a wicked and weak people. One of the things he said that impacted me the most was that we must recognize that we are not rescuers, but that we are the rescued. Christ is the rescuer! Thinking about this makes me think of the self-sufficiency as well as the pride that often fills our hearts. I am definitely guilty of sometimes believing that I can be my own rescuer and the rescuer for others, while in fact no one can be that but Christ, and that is why we need Him! Why else would we? He is our Rescuer, our Savior! We all  need to be rescued, and He's the only One who can do it. Jesus wants us to come to Him to be rescued! I went to the Needtobreathe concert with some friends tonight, and it was one of the best concerts I've ever been to. Some of the lyrics really get to me, and one of the songs they sang connects to David Platt's sermon and needing to be rescued. Here are the lyrics to Lay 'Em Down:
Come down to the river
Come and let yourself in
Make good on a promise
To never hurt again
If you're lost and lonely
You're broken down
Bring all of your troubles, come lay 'em down
All you sinners
And the weak at heart
All you helpless
On the boulevards
Wherever you are now
Whatever evil you've found
Bring all of your troubles
And come lay 'em down
We're all tied to the same old failings
Finding shelter in things we know
We're all dirty like corrupted small towns
We'll bring our troubles
We'll bring our troubles, come lay 'em down
All you rich men
And the high above
All those with and without love
All you burdened, broken down
Bring all of your troubles, come lay 'em down

This is one of my favorite Needtobreathe songs, and I think it's encouraging us to lay our troubles down at the feet of Jesus and to allow Him to rescue us! When I heard it tonight, I thought back to David Platt's sermon from this morning and it made me really excited to be able to connect the two. I hope you are encouraged by it-- it's a great song. Remember that every breath we take is a gift from God, and don't take your freedom to breathe for granted. Let everything that has breath praise the Lord! Psalm 150:6

free to sing

Music is the one passion I've carried with me since I was able to walk. I was the always singing, always talking toddler and that didn't change much. Singing is a great way to express myself and to use the gift that God has given me. Sometimes people do something just because they're good at it, or at least decent, but I sing because I love it and it makes me happy. It humbles me to know that when we sing praise to God, He
doesn't care what we sound like. When we sing for Him, we don't have to worry about sounding perfect. We can block out everyone around us and focus on Him and sing to Him and no one else. When I worship the Lord through singing, I think about just the two of us being in a room together and I focus on the lyrics and the meaning behind them. Singing to God is the best type of singing because we are not judged and because He is given glory. God wants to hear our voices, not only through prayer, but through singing! Ephesians 5:19 says that we should sing and make melody to the Lord with our hearts, giving thanks to God. If you don't think you have a good voice, sing anyway because He loves to hear your voice and He thinks it's beautiful! If you do have a good voice, don't think about letting other people hear it-- just think about sharing it with God, because He has blessed you and we should praise Him for our blessings. Sing out to the Lord, and have fun with it. I'm not a big fan of metal or rap music because I believe it can be dishonoring to God. I listen to it sometimes, but I usually feel a little bad about it. When I sing songs and don't agree with what the artist is saying through his lyrics, I feel guilty because I am enjoying the song when I actually completely disagree with what it's saying. Therefore, I often catch myself driving and switching the station to a CD after the song is halfway over-- I might like the beats and be tempted to listen and sing along, and I may or may not do so. However, as far as that goes, I guess I just sometimes feel like a hypocrite, and I really should try to change that. I love listening and singing to worship music in my car, and it's something I do a lot, especially when I'm alone. It's great to just know that God is always watching and always listening, and that you can spend time with Him anywhere and everywhere. Praying and singing in the car gets me through long car rides. I'll never stop singing, and I can't imagine not being able to sing. Singing used to be solely for enjoyment for me, but now it makes me even more happier because it's something I can do to be with God. We can never fully please God, but we can bring Him glory through music and singing. :)

free to run

Running always makes me feel good. It energizes me and brings me joy to run, and it is something I could do everyday for hours and not get tired of it. I wish I had the time to do that because it would be wonderful. When I run, I'm able to block out the rest of the world and enjoy nature (of course with my iPod shuffle on and upbeat music playing through my headphones), and it always leaves me satisfied and feeling good about myself. When I ran track and cross country in high school, some of the running was enjoyable, but often, I would just want to get to the end of the race. Isn't life sometimes the same? I feel like we are so often just pushing through everything we do in order to meet deadlines and goals we set for ourselves or society sets for us. We are all about getting things done and being successful, which is not always a bad thing, but it is if we are not focused on the most important race and the reward that will come with it. The race I'm referring to is one of great faith, one that ends with the greatest reward of all--eternal life. In 1 Corinthians 9:24 it says to "run in such a way as to get the prize." I think this verse is encouraging us to live like Christ and do everything for His glory. We can only do so much, but God uses what we have and adds to that so that we can accomplish things we may have thought we never could have accomplished. With Him, we can do anything, but without Him, our lives will only result in failure and disappointment with ourselves. Yes, as Christians, we will sometimes be disappointed with God, but if we look deeply into the situation, we will see that there is good that comes out of the bad--always. I mean doesn't Romans 8:28 say that all things work together for good for those who are called according to His purpose? I think so! That should make us want to run even faster toward the loving, gracious, neverfailing God whom we serve. Running the race with God will not always be comforting, but we will always end up feeling good about ourselves and learning a lot along the way. Psalm 16:11 says "In Your presence is fullness of joy; at Your right hand are pleasures evermore." Running with God is rarely disappointing, and only good can come from it. God wants us to run with Him so that He will be given glory, and we should want to run with Him to learn more about His character and to experience the unconditional love He has for us. We should run to Him because His arms are wide open, and we should have the picture of eternity in our minds as we run, because it is the best reward there is! Jesus died on the cross for our sins so that we could coexist with God in Heaven! This is only our temporary home, and we don't think about that enough. If you trust and follow God, you will be rewarded with eternal life and unity with Him, and I couldn't look forward to anything more. Don't think about those deadlines and goals, but set your mind on what really matters, and that is running the race with Christ, not with the world. I'll end with a quote from C.S. Lewis: "If I find in myself a desire which no experience in this world can satisfy, the most probable explanation is that I was made for another world."

free to speak

"So shall the word that goes out from my mouth; It will not return to me empty, but will accomplish what I desire and achieve for the purpose for which I sent it." Isaiah 55:11

This verse was one of our Summer Beach Project memory verses, and I was reading through Isaiah 55 last night and it really caught my eye. This semester especially has been one of the busiest times of my life, and sometimes I feel like I'm unable to be as intentional as I would like to with people. The Lord commands for us to love Him with all of our heart, soul and mind and to love others as we would want to be loved. I believe in order to do this, we need to show Christ to other people in everything we do-- through our words and through our actions-- and they will see Christ through us. I pray that I can do that, and that the distractions of life don't get in the way. The Lord is so good, so faithful, and His name should be glorified in my life and through my life. So will the words come out of my mouth not come back empty-handed. They shall do the work I sent them to do, and finish the assignment I gave them. May my words and actions mirror Christ to others, to the world.

free to live

Hi!
This is my first post, and I'm so excited about finally having a blog. This blog will probably be a random combination of songs, writing, verses and encouragement, and I hope everyone enjoys it! Here are the lyrics to the song that inspired the title of my blog, "free to live." It's really a beautiful song about being set free by Christ. I have been set free, and it is amazing!

"Free" by Ginny Owens

Turning molehills into mountains,
Making big deals out of small ones,
Bearing gifts as if they're burdens,
This is how it's been.
Fear of coming out of my shell,
Too many things I can't do too well,
Afraid I'll try real hard and I'll fail -
This is how it's been.
Till the day you pounded on my heart's door,
And you shouted joyfully,
"You're not a slave anymore"
You're free to dance-
Forget about your two left feet
And you're free to sing-
Even joyful noise is music to me
and you're free to love,
Cause I've given you My love,
and it's made you free
Free
My mind finds hard to believe
That You'd become humanity
and changed the course of history,
Because You loved me so.
And my heart cannot understand
Why You'd accept me as I am,
But You say You've always had a plan,
And that's all I need to know.
So when I am consumed by what the world will say,
It's then You're singing to me,
As you remove my chains
You're free to dance-
Forget about your two left feet
And you're free to sing-
Even joyful noise is music to me
and you're free to love,
Cause I've given you My love,
and it's made you free,
Free from worry, free from envy and denial
Free to live, free to give, free to smile
You're free to dance-
Forget about your two left feet
And you're free to sing-
Even joyful noise is music to me
and you're free to love,
Cause I've given you My love,
and it's made you free
I've given you My love,
and it's made you free
I have set you free