free to love

Don't get too excited. This blog is not about my current or past love life. I don't have a boyfriend, and I'm happy being single. I'm content with who I am and where I am, and I know it will come if and when God wants it to. That's something I struggle with, but I've realized it's so easy to settle, but if you're settling, then it's not right. Therefore, here I am, a 20-year-old girl who has never been in a relationship before. Except for the most important relationship you can have, which is the one I have with Jesus Christ. Back in high school and even before that, I thought the only way I could be completely happy is if I was well-loved by everyone around me, and I wanted guys to like me. Honestly, most of the time, I wanted them to like me and appreciate me for the way I looked, not for the person whom I really was. Today, I'm not proud of that. I'm not too proud of who I was or of my skewed perceptions. I used to be a people pleaser, and I still struggle with it. I want everyone to be happy, and if I can have anything to do with that, I'll try to do whatever I can to make it possible. There's nothing wrong with that, unless you let it consume you. Other people should not make you content-- Christ should. If you depend on other people for contentment, you will constantly fight against the impossible. Christ is the only one who can make you fully content, the only one who can fully satisfy your soul. Christ tells us to love others, and to live lives of love, but He wants us to love Him the most. After all, He laid down His life for our sins, and He loves us more than anyone ever can. I think before I can love anyone else, I need to love Christ with all of my heart, soul and mind. I can confidently say that I love Christ, but I feel like I am still growing so much in my relationship with Him, and until the Lord thinks I'm in the right place with that relationship, He doesn't want me to love anyone else as well as Christ. I want to love Him with all of my heart. Not 99% of it, but 100%, and I just pray that love will shine on others, and that it won't be all about pleasing them b/c that's not honoring of the Lord. Instead, I pray that it will be about showing them the love of Christ, which is the love I want to have and share with others. We love because He first loved us. :)
"Love is patient and kind; love does not envy or boast; it is not arrogant or rude. It does not insist on its own way; it is not irritable or resentful; it does not rejoice at wrongdoing, but rejoices with the truth. Love bears all things, believes all things, endures all things. Love never ends." 1 Corinthians 13:4-7